The Battle To Move The Church Forward And Into Our Current World

Artificial intelligence large-language models were used by the author in the days and weeks leading up to writing this to research and bounce ideas off of but were not used the day of writing in the composition or editing of the following piece of writing.

Since I dropped out of the Computer Science and Business Administration double-degree program through University of Waterloo and Wilfrid Laurier University after 2 years in 2017 and decided instead to focus my studies on the humanities and social sciences and the matters of religion and spirituality and philosophy, I have been engaged in a war: not a physically violent war and not a constant war but a war consisting of many types of battles: intellectual, ideological, emotional, spiritual, political, and relational. 

At times I have seen myself as a victim, at other times a perpetrator but the truth is it has been a messy combination of both. The absolutist, binary victim-perpetrator mindset itself is an ideology I have had to battle: the idea that certain people or groups of people are all completely innocent victims or completely guilty, psychopathic predators - even if you are 95 years old if you believe this you are as narrow-minded as a toddler.

The main source of conflict in my life is my what seems to be a unique mindset or personality I have that we as humans need to be concerned with the future, what could be, how to make things better, rather than simply believing how things are and how things have been in our own personal pasts are good and the traditions that we are familiar with need to be upheld and carried on at all costs. I could explain why I have that mindset or personality or at least specifically the structure of my mindset and personality that leads to this kind of thinking, but that is not what this essay is about. 

Because I have been so involved in the Mennonite/Anabaptist world (mostly involuntarily in my childhood and teenage years, moreso voluntarily in my young adult years) this is a larger Church, and Community, and corresponding theology and belief system, I have very strong emotional connection to and also very strong opinions about. 

For context, I attended Mannheim Mennonite Church in Mannheim, Wilmot, Waterloo Region, Ontario with my family when I was aged 0 to 12 from 1997 to 2009, and Breslau Mennonite Church in Breslau, Woolwich, Waterloo Region when I was aged 12 in 2009 until I stopped attending last year in November 2024. I also attended Rockway Mennonite Collegiate in Kitchener, Waterloo Region for high school grades 9 to 12 from 2011 to 2015, I was a resident, associate, and student at Conrad Grebel University College over the years 2015 to 2020, and I did one term of Biblical and Theological Studies at Canadian Mennonite University in Winnipeg, Manitoba in the lockdown-ridden Fall 2020 term. 

Over the years I have attended almost every MCEC/Mennonite Church Canada conference Mennonite church in Waterloo Region, some in Perth county, Niagara Region, Vancouver, BC, Winnipeg, Mennonite Church USA churches in Bluffton, Ohio, The Meeting House megachurch (Be in Christ Anabaptist branch) at its various sites before it was shut down, and been involved and attended events of Mennonite organizations such as Mennonite Central Committee, MEDA, Mennonite World Conference and more.

Below I will outline the issues I see with the current Mennonite Church Canada denomination general individual church structure and culture for internal reasons and because of external societal factors. 

I will then provide my ideas for how things could be structured differently because despite my anger and my battling over the years, it is not simply coming from a place of spite and hurt but a place of frustration for seeing how things could be better but not being allowed to share my insights and put my insights into practice very easily within the current structures and role designations. 

Although there are a lot of Mennonite/Anabaptist theological beliefs and cultural practices I see as bad rather than good, there is a lot of wisdom and tradition from this denomination over its history which ultimately come from Jesus and the Bible - both Old and New Testament that I think are quite valuable for not only people who identify as Mennonite and attend traditional churches but for every human being. 

I am not claiming to be Jesus but I am trying to live out the same goal as him as stated in Matthew 5:17 (NRSV): “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have come not to abolish but to fulfill..”

It’s Not The 1970s/1980s/1990s/2000s/2010s Anymore

Career Path and Economic Differences

I played The Game of Life board game with family and friends many times as a kid and it seemed to convey the typical life of a North American human being at the time in the 2000-2010 decade I was a kid in or at least the expectations of a life path one should strive to follow. We may still be living in the same bodies and lives as we were then but the game is not the same and the rules have changed and if you have not recognized this and started to change how you live and think, there’s no time like the present.

If you’re age 60 or over now, maybe you can expect to finish off this life path without much deviance from it by wrapping up your career which you likely spent mainly at one organization, maybe even exclusively in one role, then live out a leisurely retirement for your next 20 years (maybe 40 if medicine keeps advancing) using your pension you’ve accumulated without any necessary responsibility. That is not a certainty though, given the current political, economic, and technological climate our world is in. Even if it was certain, I have never understood how anyone could be satisfied to live that kind of lifestyle with no clear aim or purpose even if you think you “deserve it” after slaving away for 30+ years.

But for those 60 or under, there are very few if any who will get to live out this traditional retirement stage given how expensive it is simply to survive for the majority of people in North America. It’s very hard to put away money to save, or to buy real estate to have as an asset, and there’s no guarantee that this money will even be valuable 10-50 years in the future. 

From having studied Mennonite history and learning from people older than me anecdotally, being a pastor used to be a volunteer position. It only became a traditional employee-modeled position with a salary because churches and pastors benefitted from stability and accountability - a change I think was good given the time period and culture of probably the 1970s to the 2010s. 

But this change came with tradeoffs that I have not heard or experienced being given much recognition: employee-pastors are disincentivized to challenge the status quo and are incentivized to conform to the norms of society to draw people in and keep their churches budget and own salary funded whether or not the norms of society are in line with Mennonite/Anabaptist theology, or Christian theology in general, or most importantly what is right/true/good/lifegiving. Basically I believe that there is very little difference from a church with a salaried pastor to a corporation with a salaried CEO or a political party with a salaried leader, or a cult with a salaried cult-leader.

Sexual Ethics and Workplace Differences

Another phenomenon that is not discussed enough or at least not looked at in the broader historical landscape enough is the fact that the sexual revolution of the 1950s to the 1970s (which non-coincidentally went along with the development of the second-wave feminist movement or “women’s liberation movement” which non-coincidentally followed the two of the most monumental global catastrophes of human history, World War I and World War II) radically changed the sexual ethics of not only secular people but many Christians and Christian leaders even if not in their preaching and public life but in their private lives and subconscious. 

I believe this could be one explanation why there have been so many influential Mennonite/Anabaptist leaders who so strongly advocate for traditional heterosexual marriages and to not do anything sexually with people outside of these two-person unions but then it is discovered while they are still in ministry or after that they have had affairs with other people, or worse had affairs with their adult parishoners they have power over, or even worse have done sexual acts non-consellually with adult parishoners they have power over, or even worse done sexual acts with children they have power over (which is always non-consensual). It’s also possible this has always gone on as long as institutional churches have existed but there has just been more awareness of this immorality and more protection of victims to allow them to speak out about past injustices against them in the last decade or two.

A point that the notorious professor and psychologist and more recently media-entrepreneur, theologian, and political commentator Dr. Jordan B. Peterson tried to question in an interview with the media organization VICE in 2017 (https://youtu.be/S9dZSlUjVls?si=hJ3tn9rJhLGU7kXr) was that there is nothing unnatural or difficult about men and women working or studying together as peers. His points have been misframed as advocating that women are less than men, and that women are responsible for men being attracted to them and making unwanted sexual advances towards them, but this is not what he was implying: he was simply playing “devil’s advocate” (or rather “angel’s advocate” in my opinion) to the commonly-held belief that in professional or educational or any non-explicitly romantic or sexual setting it’s possible for there not to be any sexual tension between men and women who interact with each other and that there is no inherent psychological difference for a man working or interacting with a woman they are not married to than or a woman working or interacting with a man they are not married to, then a man with a man or a woman with a woman, and if anyone has romantic feelings or sexual urges in a non-explicitly romantic or sexual setting they are a bad person who should be shamed and punished. 

My stance is people have to be held responsible and accountable for their own individual behaviour and emotions and urges, and they should be disciplined if they cross lines in terms of what they say or do. A factor that is not considered enough though is the systems and workplaces and role structures and relationship structures that everyone sees as “normal” or “natural” that are not and have only been this way since the 1960s or so. 

To make this stance practical, I think men and women need to be separated again when it comes to education and work and religious/spiritual life and discussion. 

Many opportunities should still be provided for men and women to interact socially and romantically, and it doesn’t have to be as authoritarian enforced as it was in the past in the Mennonite church but separating men and women in most settings and having a more clearly socially-defined courting and dating process did seem to lead to more people going on to live happy, fulfilling marriages and to keep their commitments to their marriages than many marriages nowadays. 

I also am not advocating that one sex/gender is or should be treated as better than the other but it just makes everyone more comfortable and prevents regretful impulsive emotional or sexual behaviour from interfering with vocation and intellectual and spiritual development if roles or at least certain institutions are separated by sex/gender.

Information Availability and Technology Differences

Another monumental difference between today’s world and the world of the pre-2000 or so, is the internet, the access to the internet, and the amount of information, resources, and conversations that are available on the internet. I will not dwell on this point long because it is a pretty prevalent difference between today’s world and the past and often-discussed, but I believe it is impossible for pastors and educational or seminary institutions to stay as informed on current mainstream political discussion, local and world events, and social trends to competently lead people in navigating the world through a Christian morality the way their role is set up now. 

To lead people in morality, theology, daily living, and life-trajectory-orienting effectively in 2025 and going forward, one must be able to communicate effectively in as many different ways and through as many different types of media and outlets as possible - Instagram stories, YouTube educational videos, podcast conversations, written articles, debates, panels in front of live audiences, and most importantly with the people they have genuine family and friend relationships with in person and people that they aren’t as intimate with but interact with often such as neighbours, clients, and workers they receive services from. 

That is not the kind of education most current pastors and church leaders have received and no wonder churches are shrinking in size and influence even though many are led by very competent, compassionate, wise, theologically-astute people.

My Ideas For The Future of the Church

This essay is about my issues with and vision for church structure, not theology so I will leave my opinions on that out of this section on recommendations for the future. 

Knowing and reading this opinion of mine will be infuriating and saddening for many but my honest, straightforward suggestion for the future of the Mennonite Church is to disassemble and fold as many of its institutions as possible, sell off as many properties as possible, and let people form relationships and communities freely and organically based on shared past experiences and convictions. 

I’m not going to try to legally or physically make this happen but I will continue to advocate for this going forward. Because I believe it is “institutionalization” or “corporatization” (not exactly the same as “monetization”) of theologies and ideologies that is the source of many past and present issues in our world. 

A lot of people crave and sometimes need externally-imposed structure though, so here are a few suggestions for how to make “church” happen even without church buildings, organizations, and institutions:

1. Neighbourhood social, business and volunteer/cause based groups

   • Examples of groups people could start or join and incorporate theology or moral discussion and teaching into even if not explicitly or regularly: Neighbourhood associations, regular street parties/music festivals, farmers’ markets, coffee groups, Bible study groups, meditation groups, The Simple Way (started by Shane Claiborne in Philadelphia who I read a number of years ago, and was fortunate to be able to talk to for my podcast a few months ago), theatre and music groups (including Mennonite hymn singing groups), pick-up sports groups, restaurant-experimenting groups, educational groups like Cycling Into the Future I worked for in Waterloo Region for a number of years, groups who go together to volunteer at organizations like House of Friendship, Tiny Home Takeout, A Better Tent City, or Ray of Hope in Waterloo Region, etc.

2. Home churches

   • For people who want weekly Sunday-morning routine, meeting at people’s homes and taking turns leading devotion, prayer, and maybe singing (if you feel comfortable in a smaller group) I believe is more fulfilling for most people than sitting in a larger gathering even if it is more vulnerable and requires more effort. It also prevents power dynamic issues and clique development for the most part I think unless it becomes too big (then you can split it up or shuffle people with other home church groups)

3. Book clubs, online course study groups, podcast/theological conversation discussion groups

   • These are suggestions for people who would miss the sermon and education hour aspect of institutional churches the most. These kind of groups allow for more variety of teachings, more input from everyone in attendance, less time-restricted conversation, and more flexible scheduling than traditional Sunday-morning-only churches.

As stated at the start of this essay, I know I have been someone engaged in battle which means I have hurt a lot of people but also have been hurt by a lot of people - a lot of whom did not know they were engaging in a battle with me. To those in the Mennonite/Anabaptist world I have hurt and to those of whom I did not make aware in a civil way that they were hurting me and people I care about, I’m sorry. 

I do not expect everyone who read through this paper to agree with all my opinions and suggestions but I hope it at least helps people to give people inspiration to think about what could be, especially those who have been hurt by what has been and what is. I am definitely open to conversation, that is what this is about (preferably in person individually or in small groups but I also have a podcast if you like having public discussions) and I am always open to having my beliefs and opinions challenged whether or not that means they change as a result.

To end this and make my point about the non-necessity of institutionalized churches and clear and concise, remember what Jesus said in Matthew 18:20: “For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.”