Directionless

Should I bother caring about politics? Should I bother caring about the systems that my life is part of? Should I bother worrying about other people that I have no explicit connection to? 

For years I've been searching for a direction, searching for a passion, searching for a cause to devote myself to, searching for my "purpose", searching for some thing I'm supposed to contribute to making the world a better place. 

But then this doesn't seem to align with how a lot of other people go about life and it doesn't seem to align with how life really works from my experience. 

Well maybe a lot of people have similar thoughts and are searching for similar things as me but are we all misguided, are we all wasting our time?

Despite all the Christian ideas about life being about "dying to oneself", not succumbing to the "temptations" of this life, despite all the other philosophies about delayed gratification, long-term thinking, etc, is life really just about survival and pleasure - are we most joyful when we simply do the minimum of what's necessary to survive to the next day and do so in a way that also gives us the most pleasure (which may include helping or serving other people or at least being in relationships with other people)? 

I assume CO.VI.D.-19 has made a lot of people think about these kind of questions, at least for myself living through this has been a catalyst for challenging a lot of the philosophies and mindsets I had lived with before.

I really don't know anything. The philosophy of this blog post is as directionless as any other aspect of my life right now. 

Even only 13 months ago I never could've imagined myself living the kind of life I'm living right now, being in the place I am right now, and having the belief system (or rather lack of belief system) I have right now.

[Insert cliché about life being a mystery or journey here].